


Tony Abbott and boats: a long and tragic history

by Sagartolen, TheBlueKangeroo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Political RPF - Australian 20th-21st c.
Genre: "stop the boats", 571 days until we can elect a new prime minister, Angst, AusPol, Crack, Hogwarts, Hurt Tony, M/M, OOC Harry, Onesided Tony Abbott/Slughorn, Prime Minister Tony Abbott, Rare Pairings, The real reason he wants to stop the boats, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony-centric, Wildly Inaccurate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:58:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagartolen/pseuds/Sagartolen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlueKangeroo/pseuds/TheBlueKangeroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Tony Abbott dreams of Hogwarts- and of Horace Slughorn ;) -but on one faithful night these dreams come crashing down. Scared and alone Tony flees to Australia. Can Tony move past the horror or will it haunt him forever...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Stop the boats!"

The night was dark and clouded. The water was murky, who knew what was concealed beneath its surface. Tony Abbott, young boy of eleven, bright eyed and ready to begin his education at Hogwarts, waited by the rickety wooden rowboat. This was it, he was going to be finally meet his hero and crush, Professor Slughorn. Many an hour had been spend gazing at his only picture of the man and at last he would have the chance to see him in the flesh. Finally…at long last.

Tony stepped into the boat, heart racing, this was it. In the distance Hogwarts slowly grew closer. 

Alas it was not to be. For, mere meters from the docks, a voice from the dark was heard.

“Stop the boats,” echoed through the night. 

“Turn back the boats!”

Those words would forever haunt Tony and shape his future.

-30 years later-

Tony Abbott sat at in front of the boring reporter, one of those ‘climate change is real’ nutters, listening to her drone on and on. The day was overcast, dark and cloudy, reminding him of that unpleasant night all those years ago. His fist clenched subconsciously as he remembered the horror. The horror that had led to his hurried escape from magical Britain and travel across the world to Australia. And everything had been going so perfectly. He could still hear the yell in the dark and feel the boat beneath his feet as his dreams turned to dust. 

Occasionally, when the depression struck him worse, he would go alone into the attic of Kiribili House and take out his Hogwarts trunk. There he could lament his lost future. He would think of what his life could have been had he met Slughorn. He imagines what would have been had his boat been left to glide across the lake to Hogwarts. Often the emotion would simply be too much to bear and he would wipe the tears from his cheeks and swear to the vengeful god. 

He would swear that… if he couldn’t go by boat to a better life, then he would make god dammed sure that no one else could either.

He would show them…HE WOULD SHOW THEM ALL!!!!


	2. Boat trauma continues…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the people who commented

Tony was asleep. Dreams of Slughorn dancing across his eyelids.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

He jolted awake. Fucking magpie season. Those bloody birds were always disturbing his day-naps. Tony Abbott glanced to his left, profanities on the tip of his tongue.

An owl was hovering at his window. Huh? He leapt into motion, scrambling out of his comfy recliner. There was a letter in its beak. It was a from his niece Hannah Abbott. He had never heard of this niece before but was still happy to get mail and be included in the magical side of his family.

Slughorn was opening the new school. Hogwarts Australia. 

However…

It was on an island. Off the coast of Australia. The only way to get there would be...a boat. Tony shivered. But he couldn’t let that stop him. 

He dusted off his best wizard robes.They were from his childhood but he was sure no one would notice. 

______________________Three Weeks Later________________________

Tony stepped from his car and headed towards the docks.

He surveyed the shore line, looking for his ride. A group of rickety old-looking row boats were moored to his left. Ewww, he thought, glad to be important enough to ever have get back in one of those ancient relics. The sound of water brought back painful memories and he was overcome by a sudden vertigo. Stop the boats. It echoed in his head like a terrible mantra. 

“Boats, boats, boats, stop the boats” he muttered to calm himself. Several wizards side-eyed him and hurried past, putting distance between themselves and the strange man in child’s robes. 

Tony ignored their misgivings,, searching for his ride. There. That was his boat. Tony looked towards the large, expensive looking, yacht, moored at the far end of the dock. Good. Someone must have been informed of his arrival. It was always nice to be respected. 

Tony approached, straightening out his cloak. His view was blocked by a sudden crowd of people who quickly gathered around the narrow dock.. He smiled. They were probably there to see himself. It wasn’t everyday that a former PM of Australia graced an opening of some rinky-dink school. He flipped up his hood not wishing the be recognised just yet, slipping past the crowd. The life of a celebrity was a hard one. However, as he made his way to the ramp a hand bared his way. 

“Sorry Sir. This boat is reserved for important people only,”

What? A security guard blocked his path. 

Oh. His disguise must be too good. They did not recognise him. So, with a dramatic flourish, Tony flipped down his hood. Almost on que witches and wizards began screaming.

“Look it’s HIM!” They shouted. Finally some recognition. 

Tony made to get on the boat again now that the people had spoken. However, as he stepped forward a sudden movement knocked him to the side. 

Swooping down from the sky, Mr H. Potter himself stepped off a hippogriff, decked out in the season's most fashionable Wizard attire and a pair of tinted aviator sunglasses. Casually, H. Potter tossed the reins to the side. 

“Sorry i'm late folks” Harry addressed the crowd and brought forth a smile that Tony immediately recognised from Slughorn’s very own book on Celebrity. More adoring screams. 

‘Wait just a sec…” Tony began but was interrupted. 

“Oh, didn’t see you there,” Harry flashed a smile, “Here,” he pulled out a pen, and, with a flourish, signed his name. Tony, momentarily stunned, stared down at his arm which was now sporting Harry’s signature. 

“I always have time for my fans,” Harry announced again, strolling past. 

Tony was knocked back as the crowds surged forward. For a few seconds he was stunned, unable to move. 

Whatever. 

He didn’t need a fancy yacht. If Tony was anything, it was humble. With a confident swagger he turned, heading towards a collection of smaller boats. It had been too long since he mingled with the commoners. Perhaps this would be an enlightening experience. 

Unfortunately, getting onto one of the smaller boats proved a challenge. Two taller wizards blocked his path. 

“This boat’s full,” one man said. 

Tony peered over the other’s shoulder, spotting three vacant seats. 

“What about those,” he pointed out. 

The man glanced behind him, “Those are for...umm...ghosts,”

“Ghosts?”, Tony repeated in disbelief. Did they think him a fool. 

“Yeah,” the man drew himself up, “You got a problem with that,” 

“There’s nothing there,” Tony accused.

The two men glanced at each other. The boat jolted and Tony fell back. He recovered just in time to see it surge away. The nerve of some people. Didn’t they know who he was. Now scowling, Tony turned, looking for another ride. All that remained was the collection of smaller wooden boats. 

Tony eyed the remaining flimsy row boat. For Slughorn, he thought and stepped in. No sooner had he planted his feet the boat lurched forward under its own power. Tony stumbled in alarm. He calmed when he noticed that the rest of the small fleet had also started forward. Nothing to worry about. The boats were probably charmed. 

Loud thumping music. Harry Potter’s sleek, black, speedboat sped past sounds of laughter and music following in its wake. Tony scowled after it. Whatever. He didn’t care. As long as he saw Slughorn it would all be worth it. 

To his left one of the other boats floated just ahead of him. Then, suddenly, the boat was gone. What? All around him the boats were disappearing, shimmering out of existence. Disillusion charms. He vaguely recognised them from his time in the wizarding world. But...He didn’t know how to activate disillusionment charms. 

Seemingly alone in the dark waters his little row boat continued onwards into the night. Tony leaned back, rocked to sleep by the carm waters. Soon he would have Closure and a chance to romance Sluggyy-poo.  
.  
Sadly it was not to be, for....  
.

“Halt,” The loud voice, enhanced by a megaphone, could be heard over another boat's engine. Tony jerked awake.

“These are restricted waters!” He struggled upright, squinting up at the taller military vessel. 

“This is the Australian border force. Protecting Australian waters from foreign invaders since 2015. We stand for peace, justice, liberty and the Australian way! ASTERISK! **** for selected people only, not redeemable for terrorists!!”

Oh shit. His own border force. Tony could feel his chance at meeting Slughorn slipping away. Just like all those years ago. 

He wanted to stop the boats, but not like this, never like this.


End file.
